Fertility - Is it genetically determined?

Being in a family of 8 siblings, with mum & dad each having more than 10 siblings themselves, I thought there will be no time before the bundle of joy arrives.


Hehe turned out I was wrong.

Historically, I only had my period when I turned 14. I remembered being among the last person in my batch (I was in all-girls' school) to get her period & so close to be brought to see Gynae by my mum, in fear of infertility. Wah awal gile Mak risau hahaha. But then, she could be right though, because back then, in school & even in university, the most times I got my period was 6 times/year - which was a bless then, because that enabled me to complete a whole month of fasting in Ramadhan, for 4 years in a row!

But all those changed when I started dating my (then) boyfriend. My period was on track, with 28-day cycle. Was it the hormones? Hormon gatal? Hahaha.
Must be the hormones!

2 years and 4 months later, we got married. Need I mention, it was a week after my last period. 2 weeks later, I missed my period. But we waited for a week..and I started to get pening2 & mual2 in the evenings (not morning though, selalu kelam kabut nak pergi office hehe)..the signs were so obvious (to me, it was). I wasn't exactly happy though, it was more of a worry! I guess I wasn't so keen on having a baby that soon - I want my honeymoon year! :P

So we took the test. Negative.
Takpe teruskan aktiviti seperti biasa.
Two weeks. We tested again. Negative.
Went to see the doc one morning when I had those symptoms again. Took the test again - negative.
......I remembered feeling sad then. Maybe after all those anxieties, I started hoping for something.

I only had my period 2 weeks later, making it a 50-day cycle. The trend continued - and it started to get depressing! We didn't do anything differently though. Didn't take any med, any supplement or even observe the fertility window, we thought we should just let my body adjust to the new life...and just go with the flow!

6 months passed - and there was still no sign of my body coping with the changes. So we decided to embrace my very first appointment with a Gynae in Prince Court MC. After an abdominal scan, the doc told me that my ovums didn't fully develop - she pointed that the eggs are all premature, and possibly all this while in those 6 months I wasn't ovulating at all. How depressing! and I felt humiliated too, I felt less of a woman :(
I was given a booklet on PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome or famously termed as PCOS, and consoled me that at least 1 in 5 women in the world have it. Did I feel any better? No.

I thought to myself - why now? Probably I had it since long - given the history of puasa penuh for 4-yrs in a row, but wasn't it goes back to normal during those 2 yrs when I was courting my (then) boyfriend? What did I do differently to get it back? :( According to the doc, it could be the changes in my life after being married that turns the hormones haywire, coupled with the fact that I gained some weight since then - all those could contribute to PCOS.

I was upset, yes, but mostly, I felt guilty to my husband. I was thinking that it was my fault we couldn't get pregnant :(
What a hard fact to swallow, since I should be super-duper-fertile, if its genetically determined!

More stories in the next entry.

Love,